my words get lost sometimes
I try to be still to hear them
but things in my mind are too
fuzzy right now
too loud

distracted by other’s bull shit
running around solving other’s problems

what do I need?
what do I want?

I still can’t find my words

your arms wrapped around me
a kiss to the top of my head
boy, you make my heart feel full

you were never there

blood alone does not make you family
we may be related but
I don’t owe you anything
it is not a child’s responsibility
to maintain a relationship with their mother
it is a mother’s duty not to abandon her children

guarded

I built a wall around my heart
to protect it from you
and anyone like you
I will not allow myself to be betrayed
or taken for granted
ever again

drink this wine
the alcohol fading your inhibitions
take his hands
put them all over your body
close your eyes
feel every touch shoot lightning
from your head
to your toes
let him see you
let him know you
let him

exquisite

every inch of your body
every sweet curve
each and every moan
the mess of your hair
your fingers grasping at the pillow
and the sheets
woman,
you
are
exquisite

it all makes up me

I talk about the past often.
I refuse not to acknowledge all the things
I have been through and experienced.
For without every hurt and every joy,
I would not be the woman
who stands before you today.