a girl who writes

you
covered in my sweet red wine
me
entangled in your web

in the mirror
I see your face
familiar
yet strange
I don’t know you
maybe I never did
a lifetime connected
but never connecting
will it all be something
I later regret?

I see your kindness
your empathy
your undeserving patience

I am grateful

I am afraid
I am upset
because my mind has overthought
every
fucking
thing

regrets
over-analyzing
why?

why?

WHY?

another betrayal
but this one you saw coming
still the same lies and bull shit
but from a different angle
how can a person treat another this way?
how can a person control another
all the while living a secret
double life?

you will feel trust again
you will feel love again
I promise myself this

in the beginning
everyone is there for your pain
but at some point
you start to look okay
and they move on with their lives
as they should
it’s been so long
why wouldn’t they?
but then you’re relapsing
and the hurt is back
and this time
you feel a lot more alone

I still don’t understand how you could lie until the very end and why it was so easy for you to walk away.