Month: February 2019

it’s easier now to see your face
just a memory
of what used to be
now slowly fading over time

i used to know the person
behind those eyes
or at least i thought i did
i don’t think that person
ever truly existed

one day
maybe one day
there will be a new face
one to trust
one to love
a face that didn’t break my heart
a face that didn’t betray me
one that will show me
i can still feel that way again

how did it feel
to fuck my throat
then fuck me over
like I am nothing?

how did it feel
to use me
when you needed me
without regard
to what I needed
or wanted
or straight up deserved?

how did it feel
to see my desperation
to see my humiliation?

did you feel powerful?

did you feel better?

did you feel me
or see me
at all?

I want to feel
you
all over me

Bring the wet
Bring your breath
Bring your tongue

I want to feel
you
all over me

Let me feel the heat

Bring me
to the edge
Bring me
to the peak

I want you

All
Over
Me

Why does my heart insist on feeling this way?
my mind is still drowning in the memories
It remembers every beat
thump
thump
thump
that practically came right out of my chest
It remembers every tear
every cry out in pain
every lonely second so near someone
you thought you knew

Why does my heart insist on feeling this way?
It opens itself up again
when it clearly isn’t ready
don’t you remember?
can’t you remember?

ghosting and
settling and
obsessing and
hoping

Why does
my heart
feel this way?