just us

you are my safe space
you love me when I forget to love myself
you hold me and
see me and
know me
we fit so well together
and everyday I am grateful

Every year begins the same. Big plans to do more of something and then you just don’t. Same story, different year. Here is my attempt to get back on track.

I have been wanting to write about this for a week or so now. For nearly 8 years I have been next to one or both of the boys as they fell asleep for bed time. I recently put the boys back into their own bedrooms. They had been sharing because we created an office/classroom out of the other room. Ethan was in desperate need of his own space, so I separated them. The first night in their bedrooms, neither of them wanted me to stay with them. It was so weird and, surprisingly, hard. I kept checking in on them and Ethan asked me about it. I apologized and said I just wasn’t used to it.

It’s the end of an era and the beginning of new one. The boys have grown up so much and sometimes I don’t realize that I am holding them back.