you will feel trust again
you will feel love again
I promise myself this

sometimes it’s just you

in the beginning
everyone is there for your pain
but at some point
you start to look okay
and they move on with their lives
as they should
it’s been so long
why wouldn’t they?
but then you’re relapsing
and the hurt is back
and this time
you feel a lot more alone

6.10.2019

I still don’t understand how you could lie until the very end and why it was so easy for you to walk away.

late nights

drink this wine
taste it on my lips

sing with me
laugh with me
dance with me

take my hand
your fingers through my hair
heavied breathing
skin to skin

can we do it all again?

all that’s left is charred

you invaded my dreams again
a fantasy world where
we would actually fight and
you would say something
anything

it could be this awful month
stirring up the embers
reigniting the flame

10
our wedding
14
our anniversary
24
day my world was set aflame
26 and 27
night everything burned to the ground

and now
nearly a year later
I am still sweeping up ashes
still trying to clean up the mess you made
while you still fuck with my mind
without even trying

some days

some days
my heart is still broken
and I miss your face
the way you laugh
the way our fingers fit together
when we held each other’s hands

some days
the pain still cuts so deep
and I find myself waiting for that answer
I will never receive

some days
it takes every inch of my being
not to send that text
not to ask how you are doing
not to ask
do you miss me?