some are just not kind
they use you up, throw you out
just a memory


Sometimes, I don’t know who I am.
What makes me, me?
Am I trying too hard to be what and who I was in the past?
If I am not reading,
have I lost myself?
Am I just evolving into someone new?
Someone better?
Do I force the old ways?
Embrace new ways?
Sometimes, it feels like too much pressure.

Who am I?

I feel like my emotions have been all out of sorts. Again. I haven’t been reading. I haven’t been writing. It feels like I haven’t really done much of me lately. I find myself feeling scared that maybe I’ve lost me again. The last year has been a crazy new struggle and I feel like for most of it I’ve just been trying to keep myself from drowning. I’ve swung so far back and forth on the emotional pendulum. It would be nice not to feel so…up and down, all the time.

it’s the way you love me

the way you love astounds me
maybe it was like that in the beginning for me
the first time
but it was so long ago I can’t remember

it’s your calm and patience
when I am ugly crying
completely lost in my mind and emotions

it’s the way you remind
everything is going to be all right
we’re going to be all right

I’ve unintentionally trained myself
that if I show to much emotion
if I don’t hold it all together
my partner will bottle up and shut down
but you don’t

you don’t.

I’ll be fine next to you

you hold me when I’m

you brush my hair
with your hand
and tell me not to worry
I will be fine

you hold back judgment
but give so much in

I’m always discovering new
reasons I love you