When it comes to sex, why do women feel so much shame? Why do we judge ourselves so harshly? What is so wrong about learning, and feeling, and enjoying? I am my own worst enemy. If my story was my friend’s, my acquaintance’s, a stranger’s–there would be no judgment. But why…why when it comes to me do I feel so…slutty? For 18 years, I had only know one man. I had given myself only to one person. It was supposed to be forever. (What happened to forever?) I was betrayed. And rejected. And made to feel not good enough, not worthy enough. So bring the affirmations. I am amazing. I am worthy. I am MORE THAN ENOUGH. I will not feel guilty for living my life. I will not feel guilty for doing what I want. I will not feel guilty for being me.


I want to feel
all over me

Bring the wet
Bring your breath
Bring your tongue

I want to feel
all over me

Let me feel the heat

Bring me
to the edge
Bring me
to the peak

I want you


just stop

Why does my heart insist on feeling this way?
my mind is still drowning in the memories
It remembers every beat
that practically came right out of my chest
It remembers every tear
every cry out in pain
every lonely second so near someone
you thought you knew

Why does my heart insist on feeling this way?
It opens itself up again
when it clearly isn’t ready
don’t you remember?
can’t you remember?

ghosting and
settling and
obsessing and

Why does
my heart
feel this way?


I have cried
I have hurt
I have felt the deepness, the darkness, the sadness
of your lies
your betrayal

but you cannot break me
you cannot change me
you will not take me

I am here
she is here
she always was
she never left
she may have been hiding
but she is here

and there is lightness
and hope
and love
and more
so much more

what you didn’t know
what I didn’t know
she knew

she knew.


there was a time
my heart beat so hard
I thought it would explode

there was a moment
I cried so hard
ugly cried so hard
I thought maybe you had broken me

(nobody can break me)

out of the mess
out of the rubble
out of the fucked up-ness of your betrayal

I found something better

(nobody can break me)

I pulled myself up
I pulled myself out
I dusted myself off

(nobody can break me)

I moved on
I let go
I became something better

Nobody. Can. Break. Me.