I will see my value
I will not allow
anyone
to make me feel anything less than
my worth
because I am gold
I am diamonds
I am everything
and so much more
the witch
they can’t see my fire
but I can feel it burning
and growing
I can feel its warmth
hot flames sparking
the witch
inside me
warrior
she gets set back
sometimes
but it’s okay
she gets tired
sometimes
but it’s okay
she makes mistakes
and has regrets
but it’s okay
underneath the
self-doubt and
overthinking
she is still strong
she can overcome
but for tonight
tonight
she will just rest
a buzz and a bing
a little hi
a quick how are you
an easy hey
a fast what’s up
effortless
and simple
enough to show an interest
more to share
but I’m holding back
slow down
don’t move too fast
don’t be
needy
clingy
crazy
just be
present
attached
sometimes I still feel tied to you
anchored
weighted down by
grief
loss
heartbreak
betrayal
were you never who I thought you were?
was I never what I thought I was?
one foot out
one foot in
done but still dealing with
still working on
everything that went wrong
late morning affirmations
I am beautiful
I am independent
I am creative
I am smart
I am wise
I am loving
I am funny
I am worthy
I am deserving of all the things I want
Sometimes it feels like I am waiting to see your face on my phone, so I can argue with myself about whether to swipe left or right.
I feel like a piece of me is missing again. After losing what I thought was supposed to be my life, I found and rediscovered parts of me I never realized I had lost. And still. In this very moment, I feel empty. There is a space inside me with nothing in it. There is a hole, a void. I don’t think it is another person that is missing. It’s something of me. I wonder if I have been giving up little pieces of my soul this entire time. I am confused about what I want, about what I need. I don’t know what it is that’s missing. Is it connection? Is it validation? Is it love? I think I need all of those things–from myself.
your face
it’s easier now to see your face
just a memory
of what used to be
now slowly fading over time
i used to know the person
behind those eyes
or at least i thought i did
i don’t think that person
ever truly existed
one day
maybe one day
there will be a new face
one to trust
one to love
a face that didn’t break my heart
a face that didn’t betray me
one that will show me
i can still feel that way again
the way you fucked me
how did it feel
to fuck my throat
then fuck me over
like I am nothing?
how did it feel
to use me
when you needed me
without regard
to what I needed
or wanted
or straight up deserved?
how did it feel
to see my desperation
to see my humiliation?
did you feel powerful?
did you feel better?
did you feel me
or see me
at all?
a girl who writes 