I gave you everything
when you should have been the one
to lay it all down for me
I paved the road for your ease
waited for any little sign
I could mistake for change
but I wised up
where did that strength come from?
this new path I created for myself
from your ruins
I never wavered
I never faltered
I persisted on
and on
and on
because it’s the bigger picture
short-term suffering
or long-term suffering
I chose a lifetime of real love
self-love
when it slips off your tongue
it shoots lightning through my body
makes my knees go weak
and my heart race
please,
will you say it once more?
hand running down my back
fingers brushing the hair out of my face
a kiss on the top of my head
legs entwined
just the sound of our breathing
poetry helped bring me back
each word breathing life back into my heart
into my soul
from that dark room at midnight
alone with nothing but my hurt
to the bright room at sunrise
together with you bathed in morning light
it helped me heal
it helps me grow
these poems
my salvation
you
covered in my sweet red wine
me
entangled in your web
in the mirror
I see your face
familiar
yet strange
I don’t know you
maybe I never did
a lifetime connected
but never connecting
will it all be something
I later regret?
I see your kindness
your empathy
your undeserving patience
I am grateful
I am afraid
I am upset
because my mind has overthought
every
fucking
thing
regrets
over-analyzing
why?
why?
WHY?
another betrayal
but this one you saw coming
still the same lies and bull shit
but from a different angle
how can a person treat another this way?
how can a person control another
all the while living a secret
double life?
you will feel trust again
you will feel love again
I promise myself this
in the beginning
everyone is there for your pain
but at some point
you start to look okay
and they move on with their lives
as they should
it’s been so long
why wouldn’t they?
but then you’re relapsing
and the hurt is back
and this time
you feel a lot more alone
a girl who writes 