a girl who writes

I could lay wrapped in your arms all day
my fingers pretzeled with yours
your lips softly kissing me on my forehead

you spent a lifetime loving
someone who didn’t care enough
to end things with respect
that kind of behavior fucks you up
you almost believe it was your fault
like you deserved it
like all that history wasn’t worth
a decent ending

and I have learned to bottle up
accidentally
giving too much
not knowing that I am close
to a breaking point
I love much
and hard
give with every inch of my soul
that sometimes I forget
about me

I do too much for men
too fucking much

and I wonder sometimes
if I am too nice to you
I don’t think you realize
what you have in front of you
all you can see is what is in your head
and I get you
I do
but what about me?
I bend over backwards for you babe
what do you do for me?

I’m a little messed up
you’re a little messed up
but together,
we’re just right

put your lips on mine
put your tongue on mine
run your fingers through my hair
and your hands down my back
up my legs
slowly
let me hear your moans
your heavy breathing
your face pressed against mine
and every inch of my body screams
yearns, begs, pleads
take me
baby, take me

you haven’t learned a thing
I feel bad for her
I wonder if she knows
what you did to me
I wonder what excuses you used
to justify your behavior
I know you haven’t learned from it

you move on to something new
someone new
but do you work on your self
like I work on myself
each and every day
working on the trust
struggling with believing that
not every man will lie to you
not every man will betray you

does she know?
does she care?
do you care?
did you ever?

fuck your hate
your closed up mind
full of bullshit
you spew equality and caring
but how can you care
when you can’t even see
what is happening