a girl who writes

hand running down my back
fingers brushing the hair out of my face
a kiss on the top of my head
legs entwined
just the sound of our breathing

poetry helped bring me back
each word breathing life back into my heart
into my soul
from that dark room at midnight
alone with nothing but my hurt
to the bright room at sunrise
together with you bathed in morning light
it helped me heal
it helps me grow
these poems
my salvation

you
covered in my sweet red wine
me
entangled in your web

in the mirror
I see your face
familiar
yet strange
I don’t know you
maybe I never did
a lifetime connected
but never connecting
will it all be something
I later regret?

I see your kindness
your empathy
your undeserving patience

I am grateful

I am afraid
I am upset
because my mind has overthought
every
fucking
thing

regrets
over-analyzing
why?

why?

WHY?

another betrayal
but this one you saw coming
still the same lies and bull shit
but from a different angle
how can a person treat another this way?
how can a person control another
all the while living a secret
double life?

you will feel trust again
you will feel love again
I promise myself this

in the beginning
everyone is there for your pain
but at some point
you start to look okay
and they move on with their lives
as they should
it’s been so long
why wouldn’t they?
but then you’re relapsing
and the hurt is back
and this time
you feel a lot more alone

I still don’t understand how you could lie until the very end and why it was so easy for you to walk away.

drink this wine
taste it on my lips

sing with me
laugh with me
dance with me

take my hand
your fingers through my hair
heavied breathing
skin to skin

can we do it all again?