To all the men I’ve ever loved

1. You were supposed to be the love of my life. We were supposed to grow old together. Instead, I learned what the sting of betrayal feels like. You showed me that love is not a fairy tale. I can longer be so naive in how I look at love. But, without realizing, you also helped me find things I didn’t realize were lost. I am stronger than I have ever been before. I have discovered new sides of me. I have become an amazing woman. Without the pain and the hurt, I probably wouldn’t be the girl you see today.

2. We were never destined or fated to be together. Not that I believe in any of that anymore. But, what you taught me is that there are emotional men out there who can communicate. Though your emotions were often set aflame, I will forever be grateful for the time and lessons I learned with you. We connected because of our past and pain. You showed me the possibility of a different kind of relationship and I thank you. I am still saddened by the way our friendship crumbled apart. But, even in our ultimate downfall, I learned more about myself.

3. I wasn’t aware that I had more lessons to learn. Arrogantly, many of us believe we have everything figured out. But, you came into my life and showed me I still have so very much to be taught. My relationship with you made me very aware that I am still struggling with trust issues. I don’t think I realized how big of a wall I had constructed around my heart. I admire your desire to break down that wall, piece by piece, but ultimately we both knew that was only job I could do on my own. You did help me get out of my comfort zone. I tried new things I never dreamed I’d ever do. But, I think what partly attracted me to you in the beginning ended up being our demise. I hope you find what makes you happy. I believe you need to find someone who values the spotlight.

4. I don’t know you well yet. I still don’t believe in destiny or fate. But, I do feel a strong sense of connection when you are near me. Butterflies, sparks, lust. I don’t know what it is, but I am drawn to you. I may not love you yet, but if you give me time….

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