Tag: poetry

Supposed to be a super mom,
a super worker,
a super woman.

Sometimes,
not even a good enough mom,
not even a decent worker,
just a subpar woman.

Somehow,
I manage to shove, and stuff, and hide
whatever the fuck this is
down inside
somewhere
my kids won’t be able to see it,
but I can still hear it,
the frustration in my voice,
the exasperation,
the light,
my light,
just dying,
slowly, slowly dying.

I simply don’t have enough to give to responsible adults
whose simple requests are far too much for me to bear
at this single moment in time.

I don’t have any answers,
or reminders,
or assistance,
or leadership left.

I am just a shell of who I used to be,
or of who I pretended to be,
or wanted to be,
or expected my fucking self to be.

I’ve been down this road too many times before.
Others happiness is too much.
Others struggles are too much.

I. Can. Not. Help. You.

two awkward souls
with different kinds of weird
find each other
and create
something magical

You hold me down, not back.

I can never thank you enough for it.

a bottle of chardonnay

a bouquet of red roses

a small gesture

a sweet surprise

patience
honesty
kindness
love

even powerful women tire

lose themselves sometimes

are unable to see the light

that doesn’t make them any less powerful

nobody is perfect

to the past loves
to the ones who never were
to the ones who used me
to the ones I used
to the ones who broke me
the intense romance
the toxic relationships
the lessons learned
the experience gained
the heart rebuilt

some are just not kind
they use you up, throw you out
just a memory

Sometimes, I don’t know who I am.
What makes me, me?
Am I trying too hard to be what and who I was in the past?
If I am not reading,
writing,
singing,
have I lost myself?
Am I just evolving into someone new?
Someone better?
Do I force the old ways?
Embrace new ways?
Sometimes, it feels like too much pressure.

the way you love astounds me
maybe it was like that in the beginning for me
the first time
but it was so long ago I can’t remember

it’s your calm and patience
when I am ugly crying
completely lost in my mind and emotions

it’s the way you remind
everything is going to be all right
we’re going to be all right

I’ve unintentionally trained myself
that if I show to much emotion
if I don’t hold it all together
my partner will bottle up and shut down
but you don’t

you don’t.