Tag: journal

It’s strange how your brain associates things. I have a salty connection with fantasy football drafts. Even though it’s been four years now, I still feel resentment. Here’s what happened.

My ex-husband and I were in the middle of trying to reconcile. Our marriage was in shambles and I was desperately trying to repair it. I remember writing down something. What exactly was on the page, I don’t recall. What I do remember is that it was deeply important to me. I wanted him to go over my letter. I wanted to talk to him about it. I wanted to fix our relationship. He, on the other hand, had different plans. Instead, it was more important to him to prepare for his work’s fantasy football draft. His marriage was crumbling and his priority was to study which players to pick for a sport he doesn’t even fucking watch. It’s no surprise that we officially separated shortly after this.

My boyfriend now also participates in a fantasy football league. Unlike my ex-husband, my boyfriend is actually a sports fan. He loves football. His team is the Bears. He’s adopted the Raiders now that they’re in Vegas. He watches it every Sunday. His dream would be to set up wall-to-wall TVs so he could watch multiple games at a time. How his brain could even handle all of that is another discussion. I felt a little embarrassed to admit to my boyfriend how I feel about fantasy football drafts. It seems a little silly, but he understood. I am always grateful for him and his patience with me when I am dealing with my past. Trying to work through your issues is tough sometimes, but it helps to have a great partner.

The boys and I are back in town after a week-long camping road trip. We drove through Death Valley. Spent the night in a cute cabin near a creek. Explored the ghost town of Bodie, California. Camped at Loon Lake. Had ice cream in Carson City across from our state’s government buildings. Spent the night in the famous “haunted” Clown Motel. There were laughs, and kid fights, and parents worn thin. It was an adventure and a great memory-making trip. My second-time camping was another success.

We spent lots of time at the lake, both in the water and on the shore. We did a short hike—I am sorely out of shape. The boys tried to fish. I threw rocks in the lake with my cute nephew. The boys got to kayak with some of the adults. I was talked into kayaking for the first time and immediately flipped the boat and fell into the water. All around, it was great!

While driving home, I realized some of my favorite memories of trips have been the embarrassing ones. My favorite thing about this camping trip was falling out of the kayak. One trip to Duck Creek in Utah, I slipped off a rope swing and slid my ass down part of a hill. I laughed so hard. I think these are my favorite moments because it shows how resilient I am and have been. I get knocked down and I get the fuck back up. That’s me.